Give Them a Brake!

“That should solve your braking problem, ma’am,” as he handed me a bill for $260 bucks. I paid the bill and wondered if this would be a permanent fix – yea, right.

Last week, I almost rear-ended another car when my brakes failed. Apparently, the brake pads need to be changed more than say, once in a lifetime.

So this got me thinking about “brakes” and teen dating. How many times a month, week, day does your teen consciously (or unconsciously) use their brakes in a relationship? Does she stop short of saying what’s on her mind? Keep himself from accepting an invitation to trouble? Bring an unhealthy relationship to a dead stand still?

Here is what I know; it has to be your OWN foot that hits the brake – not the other guy. Your brain sends a message to your body to act on the fact that braking is necessary in that moment. If a teen chooses not to respond to that message, they are apt to regret it. When they fail to use their brakes, the police officer won’t give them a break on the ticket, right? So why do we expect them to get a break when they choose not to brake in a relationship?

After you have been driving for a while, braking is instinctive. Help your teen recognize a safe braking response to the situations that can cause pain – don’t assume that will come naturally- they are new at this.

Thoughts?
Lisa J

Mama j moment

Mother's Day Wish

Hmmm…What do I want for Mother’s Day?

After careful consideration, there is only one thing I truly want as a mom – for my kids to be safe and healthy. I took care of the healthy part years ago by cooking pot-roast in the crock pot instead of aluminum foil. Now, I only worry about their safety.

It started well before they were born. Prenatal vitamins, safety locks on the cupboards and a crib with rails that was FDA approved. Now, their safety is much less controllable; will my teen driver be safe on the road? Will my teen dater chose someone who will protect her heart, body and soul? Will my son drive recklessly or date recklessly?

The box of Elmo Band-Aids has faded and gathered dust over the years. I remember when a scraped knee or broken bone was my biggest daily concern. Now, there is no box of bandages big enough to patch up the fears we have as moms of teens. All we ask is that our babies travel the safest possible road and guard their lives at every turn.

What I really want for Mother’s Day is the chance to tell them one more time to slow down and look both ways…

Thoughts?
Lisa J

Curb Your Emotions

My neighborhood doesn’t have curbs. I’m not sure who decides whether or not to add curbs to the side of the road but regardless, it is pretty easy to tell when you have crossed the line; the feeling is completely different and it’s easy to lose control.

Curb. That is one of those words that sounds weird when you say it more than once. By definition, it means to “restrain, hold back, limit, control.”

If you’ve ever “accidentally” hit a curb, you are familiar with the jolt of the correction. Immediately, you are set back on course. No curb and it’s up to you to get back on course.

When I hear, “Curb your emotions,” I picture a little concrete wall that keeps me from getting out of line. Unfortunately, those little curbs are just that…little. Easy to jump and disregard.

So here’s a question, if your teen jumps the curb and hits a tree, do they blame the city for not installing curbs? Maybe they blame the tree. If your teen loses their temper and damages a relationship, do they blame their parents for not “curbing their emotions?” Or maybe they just blame the person they damaged. Perhaps it's time to call for some "concrete reinforcement." Ouch.

Thoughts?
Lisa j