Start Your Engines!

After an exciting year, we have finally launched the ever-popular book, Dater's Ed, into an online curriculum for parents and teens!

Modeled after the Driver's Ed manual, the course merges teen brain development with cars and driving concepts to keep teens from ending up in the junkyard of broken hearts. Just like Driver's Ed, the course is designed to provide structure and supervision for one purpose: to keep our babies safe.

We don't promote teen dating - our culture does.
We promote a proactive education to avoid the need for a reactive solution.

For a limited time, I'm offering a 7 day trial for only $1.00! Then when you choose to enroll in the full course, you will get half off!

Go ahead! Take a spin! Visit us at http://teendatinglicense.com and let me know what you think!

Safe teen dating does not happen by accident!!!

Reflector Reminder

Thump, thump, thump, thump….such a rhythmic reminder. I just love those little reflectors in the middle of the road that let me know I need to pay attention. Small but effective, I seem to snap right out of the trance I am in - instantly aware of how far I have drifted over the line. How many “thumps” does it take for such a gentle nudge to bring me back to reality?

“Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out!” Maybe not as gentle but certainly enough to recognize that you have crossed a boundary. Are you constantly teasing her about her laugh? Are you nagging him repeatedly about being on time? Do you feel that little “thump” on the back of your head when you tick someone off? Pay attention! There are people around you that your words and actions have an effect on. It shouldn’t take five or six warnings for you to realize that you have crossed the line.

Here is the question: when you do finally wake up, does your apology come in the form of an immediate correction back to your own lane and a humble hand wave to the other person you offended? Or do you respond with a different kind of hand gesture because someone honked the horn when you ran him off the road? Who’s at fault here?

In the world of relationships…especially dating, the apology comes in the form of sincere recognition that you have stepped over the line and that you won’t do that again. Accept responsibility; be humble and authentic. Let those little reflective “thumps” set you straight once and for all. Otherwise, the next “thump” might be painful.

Thoughts?

Mama j

Repo-Man

I had the “opportunity” to drive a car that was being repossessed. A friend gladly loaned me the car so that it would be “off the radar” when the Repo-Man came to their house to haul the vehicle away.

Great idea; park it in a different place every night, always watch to see if you are being followed and make sure you don’t drive alone just in case a big-bad-man with the bald head and missing teeth asks you to step out of the car.

Many teens have “ex’s” that pursue them the same way a Repo-Man would follow a car owner who is avoiding payment. These stalkers are often hiding around the corner, under-cover and determined to get what they came for.

As a parent, this would top the list as one of the biggest fears I have for my children. The reality is, our kids don’t have to necessarily be in a relationship with the Repo-Man for him to pursue them. He may just be on the hot trail to steal your teen regardless of any enticement or influence. That’s bad enough. But what if your teen has been in a relationship with a girl or guy that insists on getting them back? Period. No discussion, no dissuasion, no discouragement.

While getting the real Repo-Man to back off when the property he wants does not belong to him, being stalked by an old boyfriend or girlfriend is not only frightening, it is simply unacceptable. There is a reason and a warning when the Repo-man is about to take back a vehicle. There is no good reason and very little warning when an individual decides to target your child.

The fact is, you probably won’t get a letter in the mail or a phone call giving you the head’s up. You may not know it’s coming. You probably won’t even know your teen is being watched. But others will.

So, if someone mentions that a girl is obsessed with your son or some boy is aggressively pursuing your daughter, then listen. That might be the only “notice” you get and the price is too high to ignore the warning.

Thoughts?

Mama j

Too Good to be True

My husband and I went to a lovely wedding last week. Over 200 people dancing and celebrating the beginning of what we all hope will be a beautiful marriage. The food would have made Martha Stewart proud and the music kept my toes tappin’ in my “too-tight-wedding-only” shoes.

At one point the DJ asked all married couples to please make their way past the dessert table to the dance floor. As the couples young and old began to slow dance, the DJ would intermittently ask each pair to leave the floor if they had been married less than one year, two years, five years…you get the idea.

Each year was like a mile marker than flashed through my mind as a representation of how far we had come. Settling into year one, just getting comfy. Year three, a bump (called a baby boy) was a bit of a surprise but did not take us off course. Year seven marked the beginning of some restlessness and cloudy days. Year eleven, refreshed and working together to get where we want to go.

When I decided to take this relationship journey with my husband, we took a road and a route unique to use. We would have good days, bad days and all those in between but without those many miles, we would not be where we are to today – well seasoned travel companions.

The twenty-one years we have been together are counted in years not months. As important as the first months were to find compatibility, they are not the measurement of how far we have come.

When teens meet their “dream date” and start planning a wedding after six weeks, I respond with the wisdom that I have gained on this relationship journey. “It’s not too GOOD to be true, it’s too SOON to be true.”

Let me know when you get to mile marker #53.

Thoughts?
Lisa j

Blinker Stinker

So I’m heading to the grocery store four short miles away and I end up behind what I call a “Blinker Stinker,” a person that does not believe in using their turn signal.

Blinker Stinkers have a communication issue; their bad road manners are probably second only to their unwillingness to share useful information. Using a turn signal is not as much for your benefit as for the benefit of those following you. Isn’t it nice to let someone else in on the secret of where you are headed? If you want to change direction, fine, that’s your prerogative. When you are in your car, you have the choice to let the rest of the drivers know where you are going by the simple flip of a switch.

In teen dating, the switch is right next to the lip. Teens don’t always communicate. Will she tell him she made other plans for Saturday night? Did he tell her he is taking his best friend to the concert instead of her? Courtesy means giving someone plenty of notice, the sooner the better! Some teens simply slam on the brakes and head west with no warning – that’s rude, disrespectful and can be very painful.

Blinker Stinkers are typically either self-centered or clueless, neither of which would look good on a dating resume. Is your teen a Blinker Stinker?

Thoughts?
Lisa j

Possession Obsession

Bucket of suds and an over-sized sponge – what a way to spend Father’s Day – washing and waxing your most prized possession. Have you ever been curious about people who obsess over their cars? What drives them to spit-polish the mirror every time they go for a spin. Or spend 2 hours with an Oral B toothbrush cleaning the rims.

Makes you wonder how they would be on a date with your teen. What if your child had a piece of spring leaf lettuce stuck in his teeth at lunch? Or the sweater she was wearing was hanging slightly crooked? I can just envision an uninvited adjustment to make all things perfect…at least visually.

When a person is fixated on the condition of something, is it possible to ever relax enough to simply enjoy the “something?”

Maybe before our teens venture into a relationship with another individual, it would be a good idea for them to pull up a chair in the driveway and watch this potential date wash their car before your chils ends up as the object of "possession obsession."

Thoughts?
Lisa j

Teens Under Insured

Have you looked at the bill for your teen’s car insurance lately? Every month, I like to rip the bill open with thrilling expectation in the hopes that my insurance company is going to throw in cruise tickets with the premium. Nope.

Is there any doubt why teen insurance is two and a half times that of their parents? Reckless abandon with a splash of false immortality – that’s how they drive.

So here’s a question for you, how many opportunities does your teen have in a week to crack the windshield, hit a mailbox or worse, get in a car accident? Plenty, right? Then how much more likely is it that they have a “relationship accident?” Think about the opportunity teens have every day to make a “wrong turn” when it comes to the opposite sex. What would you be willing to pay for “dating insurance” to give you the peace of mind that your little darling is not going to be in a relationship wreck this month?

Hey, maybe I’m onto something! A new business idea; I can sell “dating insurance” to cover all the hazards of teen dating. The coverage could include everything from failing grades to excessive cell phone bills. It would be comprehensive coverage that insured migraines, dating under the influence, pregnancy, harassment and even time off from school for “repair and restoration.”

The best part? I would throw in a “loaner date” when the one your teen invested in breaks down and isn’t going anywhere.

Thoughts?
Lisa j

Give Them a Brake!

“That should solve your braking problem, ma’am,” as he handed me a bill for $260 bucks. I paid the bill and wondered if this would be a permanent fix – yea, right.

Last week, I almost rear-ended another car when my brakes failed. Apparently, the brake pads need to be changed more than say, once in a lifetime.

So this got me thinking about “brakes” and teen dating. How many times a month, week, day does your teen consciously (or unconsciously) use their brakes in a relationship? Does she stop short of saying what’s on her mind? Keep himself from accepting an invitation to trouble? Bring an unhealthy relationship to a dead stand still?

Here is what I know; it has to be your OWN foot that hits the brake – not the other guy. Your brain sends a message to your body to act on the fact that braking is necessary in that moment. If a teen chooses not to respond to that message, they are apt to regret it. When they fail to use their brakes, the police officer won’t give them a break on the ticket, right? So why do we expect them to get a break when they choose not to brake in a relationship?

After you have been driving for a while, braking is instinctive. Help your teen recognize a safe braking response to the situations that can cause pain – don’t assume that will come naturally- they are new at this.

Thoughts?
Lisa J

Mother's Day Wish

Hmmm…What do I want for Mother’s Day?

After careful consideration, there is only one thing I truly want as a mom – for my kids to be safe and healthy. I took care of the healthy part years ago by cooking pot-roast in the crock pot instead of aluminum foil. Now, I only worry about their safety.

It started well before they were born. Prenatal vitamins, safety locks on the cupboards and a crib with rails that was FDA approved. Now, their safety is much less controllable; will my teen driver be safe on the road? Will my teen dater chose someone who will protect her heart, body and soul? Will my son drive recklessly or date recklessly?

The box of Elmo Band-Aids has faded and gathered dust over the years. I remember when a scraped knee or broken bone was my biggest daily concern. Now, there is no box of bandages big enough to patch up the fears we have as moms of teens. All we ask is that our babies travel the safest possible road and guard their lives at every turn.

What I really want for Mother’s Day is the chance to tell them one more time to slow down and look both ways…

Thoughts?
Lisa J